Hi hi hi,

So today, I'm going to be super honest. I have no clue what the heck I'm doing. I'm very much winging everything. I have a plan-ish but everything is still in the air. Crazily enough, that doesn't scare me. If I was anything like a normal person, that would be scary but for me it's exciting. It's exciting not knowing what I'm going to do next or where I'll live next.

Throwing everything to the wind is not for everyone. I am privileged enough to have a good support system to fall onto in case everything goes badly. I also have enough savings where I can be a bit crazy. Even if you are privileged as me, it still might not be for you. It requires A LOT of confidence in yourself.

I am unemployed during a global pandemic that has left most economies shattered. However, I am confident that I will find a job. Why? I apply to job postings in the field that I want to be in and I am confident in my professional abilities. I've worked for three years in roles where I've had to push myself professionally and have succeeded in every situation. One day, I will become a python developer. How do I know this? I am confident in my process of learning and practicing my skills. Except for yesterday, I have worked on my coding every single day this year. In two or three years from now, I will be living abroad again. I am confident in my language studies. I'm taking classes that help me to understand Italian grammar and practice my conversation skills. I am working through my Japanese book at a consistent pace and will get the next book in the series once I am done. I will get a handstand this year because I am confident in the training sessions that I do on my own and with my personal trainer.

Are you getting why I'm so confident? I am confident because I am putting in the work to make sure my dreams come true. So I don't mind if my plans are not super duper formed and that I don't know what next month will bring because I'm confident that I can use next month to get to my next goal. So while I don't know how, where, or when, these things will happen, I do know that they will.

But the hardest part of being confident is that I'm not always 100% confident. Sometimes I'm terrified I won't find a job or that I'll never travel again. When those moments come, I take a breath and try to remind myself of all my wonderful dreams that did come true.

But seriously though, my handstands are actually getting so much better. Apparently doing all the things that my trainer told me to do really does help.

Till next time,
Cope.